1. We're all Christians
I wonder where Japan got the idea that we're an overwhelmingly Christian nation? Could it be the President saying "God bless America" every chance he gets? I can understand how such a thing could come to pass, but let's not forget our religious freedom. And that also means freedom from religion.
2. We're all gun owners
Again, I understand. The world sees kids shooting up American schools on the news. But to turn this one around, from the sensationalist news reports I've seen, all Japanese carry around axes and knives to cut up their girlfriends, fathers and English teachers.
3. We all like sports
I am a pariah because I don't like sports. Actually this is pretty much universal. Maybe in France I could find good, sports-hating company.
4. We can't eat Japanese food
Sorry, friends in Japan. I hate to break it to you but your cuisine isn't all that weird. We've been eating raw fish over here for decades now. What else is there, rice and mushrooms? I think I can manage.
5. We can't use chopsticks
Again, been doing it a long, long time. The funny thing is, Chinese people don't think twice about Westerners using chopsticks. Of course they can, it's a useful tool. The next time someone praises me for using chopsticks I'd like to praise them for using a knife and fork.
6. We live amidst horrible violence
I have heard stories from young Japanese people about their parents being terrified to let them go to war-torn America. Killing in the streets! Mass confusion! I think Afghanistan and Iraq might actually be safer than the scenario they imagine for America. But compared to super-safe Japan, I suppose anything else must seem like a war zone.
7.We're loud, selfish and rude
OK, they've got on this one.
